Why McCain chose Palin

It’s fair to say that everyone is speculating on why John McCain, the Senior Senator from Arizona chose as his potential running mate Sarah Palin, the incumbent Governor of Alaska.

I don’t know for sure, but I can think of a few reasons. Remembering the phrase tongue-in-cheek, see what you think.

1. Alaska is far from Florida so he’s hoping voters won’t be reminded of hanging chads, Katherine Harris, and Jeb Bush.

2. Choosing an Alaskan is a good hedge in case bears win the right to vote by November.

3. Even if bears don’t win the right to vote, it’s still a good hedge because Alaskan bears can be sent to Florida to help count ballots in case the vote gets close.

4. The time will come when Senator McCain is looking for a few more retirement properties. Governor Palin can help him locate (and keep track of) good beachfront resort properties in Alaska (just in case this global warming business gets out of hand).

5. Her experience as Council Member and Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska dovetails nicely with McCain’s plans to allow her to ramp up U. S. participation in the Sister City, International program while toning down his own Bomb, Bomb Iran image.

6. Senator McCain was protecting Republicans from accidental injury. He knew that Sarah Palin, a lifetime member of the NRA, is a better shot than Dick Cheney, and thus fellow Republicans were less likely to be injured.

7. McCain also knew that Alaska’s reputation for pork barrel spending will appeal to pork producers in Iowa, and should help land the farm vote. (On a legitimate note, if you want to compare the McCain and Obama positions, check this rural voter guide.)

8. Hoping that clear understanding of the impact of the George Bush Presidency had not yet reached all of the voters, McCain was hoping some would associate the word Bush with Alaskan Bush.

9. Even if Sarah Palin and John McCain lose the debates, the basketball player formerly known as Sarah Barracuda will catapult them to a win at HORSE.

10. And finally, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin may not have his experience but all reports are that she is cuter than Joe Lieberman.

photo by flickr by GISuser, er3465, and Wigwam Jones